I’ve been learning a lot lately. That is not necessarily a good or pleasant thing. It seems that many times learning comes from hard times. The past several weeks have not been fun, enjoyable or pleasant. The weeks have brought difficulty and pain on multiple levels. However, during this season of life, I was reminded of the value of being present. During difficult days, the most important thing a friend, family member, partner or leader can do is to be there. It’s easy to offer shallow sympathy and certainly that is appropriate in some relationships.
Relationships that are important require more. The main excuse we give for not responding to others in need is that, “I don’t know what to say” or “I don’t want to say the wrong thing”. The truth is, your presence is way more important that your words. There simply is no substitute for investing in someone with consistent care and concern. It is in the turbulent waters that hearts rise to the surface. When there are no words, there is heart.
Those we lead and love need our presence, not our sympathy. They need our consistent willingness to listen, not our “right words”. They need to know that we will slow down long enough to acknowledge and to walk with them, if only for a moment, in their pain.
When your authentic desire to be present with someone who is struggling is stronger than your fear of saying the wrong thing, you will make a difference.
Larry
I Don't Know What To Say
